User Profile

"Sometimes its like someone took a knife baby edgey and dull and cut a six inch valley through the middle of my soul." ~ Bruce Springsteen

She's a street light in the evening rain,
An empty seat on the rush hour train.
She's a polaroid lying on the street,
She's the lover I may never meet.

Every night I breathe her in,
Feel her sink into my skin.
Still I feel,
That I am envious and obvious and desperate for your love,
I am shouted by and criticised,
Still I crave your touch.
And I know the time you're killing is mine,
But I... I don't mind.

She's a phone call in the dead of night,
A stranger's voice I recognize.
She's a radio playing in the dark,
She's the name you'll find written on my heart.
Every night I breathe her in,
Feel her sink into my skin.
Still I feel
That I am envious and obvious and desperate for your love,
I am shouted by and criticised,
Still I crave your touch.
And I know the time you're killing is mine,
But I... I don't mind.
~Tom McRae


I enjoy spending time at independent coffeeshops updating my lj and sipping a cup of tea or chugging down an iced no-sugar non-fat vanilla latte. Hot coffee makes me tired and cold coffee wakes me up.

I am getting better at just sitting and being.

I decided that I couldn't live my life without music anymore. I am studying at Cal State Long Beach to be a music teacher. It has been the best decision I have ever made. Being a part of a musical ensemble is something I hope to never miss again.

I spent a year studying geography in New Zealand. I will now forever be homesick. If I am in California I am homesick for NZ. If I am in NZ I am homesick for California.

I say fabulous so much that I have shortened the word to fabu for things I think are really fabulous.

I am a perfectionist and truly enjoy doing things quickly as well as neatly. I have a slight obsession with labels at my work. I am currently employed by the City of Long Beach in the Library system to tutor K-12 students with whatever they need as well as help them to use our computers. I get paid well and also get paid when their aren't any students and I am therefore being paid to retype this bio. My mother, aunt, and great-aunt are all librarians and my sister works in the same position that I do. Despite working in a library, I still enjoy going to libraries to study, relax, or just browse the stacks. I find that the fundamental principle of libraries, to make knowledge available to everyone, is a vital component of a working democracy.

I enjoy reading to the extent that I'm minoring in English Literature just for fun. I have always been a voracious reader. One of my first memories is walking into a library and sitting down to look at the books that were for me, ie the See Spot Run books. I was so excited.

I can't spell worth beans, but I really try my best at it. Sometimes I'll still spell possibilities as possabilites, because ability is spelled with an "a" so that's how my brain thinks it should be spelled. It really irks me that I can't spell. One of these days I'll get over it.

I really enjoy going to museums and should go more often. Wanna take me?

Writing helps me through the bad times and reminds me of the best times. I write for my own discovery and I read for my own education. The passive voice is often what I write in. I find that poetry is often able to express things that I am not normally able to express. I write poetry as well as enjoy reading others' poetry. Whitman and Ginsberg are two of my favorite poets.

I love watching movies but will rarely remember if I've seen something or not. This means that I have no idea about that director you're talking about but I can fake it with the best of them.

I'm very intellectual. I think for myself. I don't like having one sided opinions. I think it is crucial to understand both sides of an argument before I make up my mind about which side I think is right. A lot of people I know are very closed minded even though they think they are open minded. I am not as far to the left as many people think I am. I have a knack for being able to poke holes in people's arguments as well as pointing out fallacies of logic.

I knit. A lot. I knit in public. I knit in class. I knit through business meetings so that I can pay closer attention. I love knitting with other knitters. I knit with my co-workers. I knit so much that I started another lj blog to chronical my knitting adventures. It can be found at knitdevonknit.

Being artsy fartsy is something that I enjoy very much. I am very creative and crafty. I enjoy using my creativity to make unique things. I make origami, which is the Japanese art of paper folding, and hang it from my ceiling. I enjoy spending hours and hours at museums. I also enjoy spending hours upon hours watching aquatic animals swim around at aquariums. My favorite form of art to look at is photography and my favorite form of art to make is collage. I cut out gobs and gobs of images and then spread them around me so that I can see them all. It's a pretty fantastic process.

I am queer. I don't like labels much, but I love ones that let you decide what they mean. Queer has so many possibilities, its rather gorgeous really. I'm not straight, lesbian, or bisexual, I'm queer because that means that I get to be atracted to whomever I'm atracted to. I have the freedom to love and fuck who I want to love and fuck. I am also a person who is open about sexuality and talking about sex. I have nothing to hide and don't think you should either.

I am a musician. I have played many musical instruments in the past. There is such a different experience between listening to music and making music. The music that I listen to is very ecclectic. I feel that I have only really begun to listen to music. I listen to everything; even country, hip hop, and rap (gasp!). Currently I have fallen in love with bluegrass and fallen back into loving the old school third eye blind cd. I grew up dancing on my fathers feet to Bruce Springsteen.

I'm a pescetarian. That's a vegetarian that eats fish. I love sushi and it's really good for me too because fish is good for your attitude and seaweed has tons of vitamins. I love baking cookies and cakes. I enjoy cooking for large groups of people. I absolutely love throwing parties.

I love yard sales and thrift stores. I really don't enjoy the looking part because you have to search through all the clothing and crap that I can't ever imagine it being new somewhere. But that is outweighed by the cheap prices for the Express and Forever 21 shirts that I eventually do find and that funky skirt I'd never be able to get anywhere else.

I'm a girl who doesn't mind looking at herself in the mirror. Enjoys wearing earrings. Has fun playing with yarn. Wishes her music collection was larger. Loves her father so very much. Has a memory that doesn't remember things she thinks it should. Writes so that she can remember. Writes so she can discover what's she's really thinking. Writes for the sake of writing. Likes and dislikes her neighborhood. Sings Mama Mia in the shower. Is dealing with regret. Loves being sarcastic but regrets that it pushes people away. She's a poloroid lying on the street. Scared of being someone she isn't. Blindly searching for love in a world spinning on time. Needs more bookshelf space. Believes in love but is scared of losing herself in relationships. Wants to fly.

I am a poet, a singer, a dancer and a painter.

I am a friend, a lover, a daughter, and a sister.